If you’ve read my previous article, ‘What the #$%! is Authenticity?’, I hope you have a good understanding of what it means to be an authentic person.
In summary, there are 5 aspects to authenticity:
- Being your own flavour — unique as a person
- Acting in line with your own unique set of values
- Being true to yourself in a consequence-free zone
- Having self-awareness
- Relating to others is a true and real way.
There are a lot of different aspects to consider in becoming an authentic person, but the research says when individuals feel their physiological needs are met (basic needs), they will be more likely to accept and freely express their internal states, which are their values, emotions, and desires. This falls in line with Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. When it comes to needs there are three defined categories. The first is basic needs. This includes food, water, warmth, rest, security, and safety. Without those needs being met we are unable to prioritise the second level of needs which are our psychological needs. These are our needs for belonging, relationships, and feelings of accomplishment. Once we are on this level, we can truly accept and express our values, desires, and emotions. These are our self-fulfillment needs.
There are five ingredients to feeling like a more authentic person. More, autonomy, more relatedness, and more competence, more emotional vulnerability, and more courage.
Autonomy — (definition from Dictionary.com: “Independence or freedom, as of the will or one’s actions: the autonomy of the individual.”)
The more we feel we have control over our lives and the decisions we make, the more authentic we feel. Being autonomous means that we can take responsibility for our decisions and the consequences of those decisions.
Relatedness — (definition from Dictionary.com: “associated; connected”)
The more we can relate to people on a true level and connect with them the more we feel authentic. Relating to others allows us to show empathy and understand perspectives different from our own experiences.
Competence — (definition from Dictionary.com: “the quality of being competent; adequacy; possession of required skill, knowledge, qualification, or capacity”)
Competence is the ability to master different skills. Therefore, getting out of your comfort zone and trying new experiences is important, because you can have a range of skills you’re good at but unless you try something new you’re not going to be able to get the practice to become competent at something else.
Courage — (definition from Dictionary.com: “the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.”)
Vulnerability — (definition from Dictionary.com: “Willingness to show emotion or to allow one’s weaknesses to be seen or known; willingness to risk being emotionally hurt”)
Both Courage and Vulnerability are intrinsically linked to authenticity because they both require a degree of emotional exposure. They require us to put ourselves out there for an emotional risk. Being our true selves quite often comes with a risk because we all have some fear of rejection. Both the concepts of courage and vulnerability are important in discovering your authenticity, because the more we understand ourselves and express our thoughts and emotions, the closer we become to showing the real world our real selves.
In summary, there are five tips to becoming an authentic person:
- Make sure your physiological needs are met
- Find areas in your life where you can express more autonomy, more relatedness, and more competence.
- And finally, remember that you need courage and vulnerability to be authentic.
Want to know more about how to discover your true self, beyond the layers of what others expect you to be at home, at work, and socially? Join my Big 5 challenge to get out of your comfort zone and explore courage, vulnerability, and authenticity in 5 simple but effective tasks.
Learn more about Caroline Jones, Life-Coach and founder of Ninth Koi Coaching
