Maybe she’s born with it, maybe she’s a superhero.
Have you ever wondered how it is that some people have the courage to put themselves in dangerous situations for their job time and time again? I often wonder whether these people are born with an extra big dose of courage that most of us just don’t have. I took my curiosity to a woman named Kirsty to find out whether she has a storage shed out the back with a few bags of bravery she dips into when she needs to, or whether she was born with special superpowers. Her story is a fascinating insight into physical, and mental, courage.
My first job was in the Australian Regular Army when I was 17. I’d just finished year 12, and had started a diploma in justice studies as I’d wanted to be a cop since year 10 at school. I did apply to the Queensland Police Service (QPS) but they told me I was too young and to go and get some life experience. So I joined the Army. I was initially in the Royal Australian Engineers and then changed to the Military Police a couple of years later. It was there that I completed my Close Personal Protection/Bodyguarding course and was later involved in the protection of a British General in Bosnia, General Cosgrove in East Timor, and a number of other VIPs such as the Prime Minister and Government Diplomats overseas and in Australia.
I was still keen to join the QPS so about 8 years later, I applied again and was accepted. I only spent 5 years as a general duties officer on the Gold Coast and that was enough for me. I think that wanting to be a cop for so long had certainly clouded what I thought the job was. It had its good moments but I couldn’t see myself staying long term.
Then at the start of 2008, I was accepted into the QLD Fire and Emergency service where I have been a full-time urban firefighter for over 13 years. My entire ‘work’ life has been either Defence or Emergency services.
I think a lot of people would see my careers as ‘brave’ jobs but I never think of it like that. I guess it’s just about different people being attracted to different roles. For example, I’d never be a hairdresser, that’s way too hard, or a doctor or something. It’s just not for me. There have been some very scary experiences throughout my career. Volunteering to do the Close Protection/Bodyguarding course in the Army was a decision that I didn’t make lightly. Many of my colleagues at the time were not interested at all because, and I don’t mean to sound dramatic, but at the end of the day, the role meant that you were expected to sacrifice your life if shit got real. The course itself was one of the hardest both physically and mentally I’d ever done in my life to date and it was one that you could complete but they could still say you were not suitable for the role and not qualify you at the end.
Putting it into practice during operations overseas was exciting. I had never really worried about the actual danger of it; I don’t know why. It was always in the back of my mind but my mentality was that someone has to do it. The training was intense but it meant that my reaction to any incident would be instant and instinctive, and that was important for that particular role. No time to question or balk, decisions and actions had to be carried out in a split second.
Just prior to leaving the Army I was also involved with intercepting the boats coming from Indonesia with suspected illegal immigrants. At one stage we were anchored in the ocean on an old boat for weeks waiting for the government to make a decision about where the people were going to go. After a while, we noticed that the men on the ship would gather and were making plans to attack us (there were over 200 people on the boat and only 4 of us guarding them at any one time.) Although we were armed, had they tried, we probably would’ve been in trouble. It was quite scary to be in that situation.
General Policing has many dangers. I once had a lady run at us in an apartment with a meat clever because she thought we were going to take her son from her. I was responded to the bikie brawl at the Royal Pines many years ago. Someone had been shot so we didn’t know what we were walking into. We’d regularly attend Domestic Violence incidents where traditionally cops are often hurt and killed. It is very easy to put yourself in a dangerous position when you’re called to a violent job at 2 am and half asleep. I was once the passenger of a police car that flipped and rolled in Carrara — we were lucky to survive. I got away with a fractured sternum and a few cuts and bruises but I definitely saw my life flash in front of my eyes.
As for firefighting…. It doesn’t have the emotional pressures that policing had but we quite often attend incidents that people don’t know about, like suicides. People might comment that we could be ‘brave’ going into a house fire but again it’s about the training and equipment. We only do what we can with what we have. We can go into houses on fire because we have the equipment to do it. Is it scary? Yes, it can be. A lot can go wrong but you don’t think about that… I mean you do, you consider the risks and dangers but you don’t have time to dwell on it. When we get to a job, it’s automatic and we swing into what we’ve been taught. Do I think I’m brave? No, I don’t. It’s just my job and it’s exciting.
What do I think it takes to do these jobs? Well for starters I have always been a tomboy. I really think that plays a part. I’d rather be amongst it and getting dirty. I was fortunate as a kid and my parents encouraged both my brother and me to do many things we were interested in… horse riding, taekwondo, music, nippers, etc. So trying new things and ‘having a go’ was something we were brought up with. Maybe that helped to push us towards the career paths we have chosen (my brother was in the Army also and is now a cop in Brisbane). I also sometimes think that the old ‘fight or flight’ response can affect peoples’ work choices. The reason I think that is because I feel that a lot of people in emergency services will tend to move towards danger whereas some other people move away (probably because they are smarter LOL). I think I still recognise danger but feel more of a pull to do something and act when it’s there. Fortunately, experience and training helps me make calculated decisions when this happens. I definitely also believe that there is an obligation when in uniform to act because the community expects that. I personally find that, out of uniform, I tend to help or want to help, even though people standing around wouldn’t know I was a firefighter so there’s no expectation, but I have an expectation of myself to do something. I have or may have skills or knowledge that could help in whatever is happening so I have a personal expectation and put pressure on myself.
During Cyclone Debbie a few years ago I was on the night shift at Helensvale Fire Station. Every crew in the Southeast was getting smashed with jobs from flooding to fires, to car accidents.. to name a few. To cut a really long story short, it was around 2 am in the morning and we were at a house for a job. While we were there, and unknown to us, a car had been washed off a causeway further up. We heard people yelling in the water and we saw a girl holding onto a fridge being rushed down the flooded river. She’d been one of the passengers in the car and had been thrown out and managed to grab a fridge. We also heard a man’s voice but in the dark, we couldn’t see him. The guys I was with started running along the embankment following his voice to try and see him. I kept my eye on the girl and the fridge she was holding onto entered an eddy. This meant that she was out of the rushing floodwater but was still metres away from the embankment. I told her that she had to let go of the fridge and swim towards me as if she kept holding on, she’d float away again. She eventually let go and started swimming but was so exhausted she started going under the water. As we had been at this place for a completely unrelated issue, I had no equipment for this with me, nothing, not even a rope. To make matters worse I was in my firefighting pants and boots. In all of our training, entering the water with those on is a massive no-no because they will fill with water and pull us under straight away. It was at this time that I knew I had to do something. She was getting weaker and was not going to make it to the bank, I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she kept going under and I knew I could lose sight of her if I looked away for a second. I had so many thoughts going through my head…. If I jump in to get her, there’s a pretty good chance I could drown with these pants and boots on… If I look away to take them off she could drown,……. she is definitely going to drown if I don’t do something….But if I go in the water dressed like this I could get in trouble….I’m the only one there that can help….. All of this went through my mind in the space of half a second. In the end, I did jump in and swim out to her. I managed to grab her and pull her to the bank. At that time the guys from my crew were coming back and grabbed her and pulled her onto the bank. When I got back to the truck, another firefighter senior to me, totally lost his shit at me for going into the water with my pants and boots on. I was extremely tired and drained after what had just happened and I did tell him to get fucked… luckily my boss at the time came over and walked me away before things got even more heated.
This story is an example of a time when I had to make a very quick decision, knowing that what I was doing was totally against everything we’d been trained to do but I couldn’t just stand there and let her drown in front of me. Was it brave? Some might say.. did I think I was being brave, no I was just doing my job. Was it stupid? Yeah, a little because we both could’ve drowned. It was sad that I even had to consider that I could (did) get my ass kicked for what I did but then that comes down to training. Training is vital and extremely important. My training said I shouldn’t be doing what I was about to do. It’s a good thing because those measures are there to keep us safe but this was a time when I had to make an assessment and calculated decision on the spot and back myself.
So there you have it folks; an insight into what it takes to have courage day in and day out. According to Kirsty, a childhood full of safe risk-taking in the forms of play and physical activities sets up a solid foundation. However, the real key to showing up with physical and mental courage is through training and equipment. Of course, we aren’t all cut out to be police and fire service officers, but it’s interesting to reflect on where in our lives where have we had the training to show bravery and courage that could be transferred to other aspects of our jobs, connections, and relationships with ourselves.
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